the quest for truth

As promised, here’s part 4 of my story - The Quest for Truth.

A reminder that I’m sharing this story not for the sake of you knowing ‘my’ story; but rather so you can relate through it to reflect on YOUR own life story and step through to become the best version of YOU and create your best life! Thanks for being with me on this journey. 🙏

Part 4 - The Quest for Truth

Just as the hard work began to create some financial stability, something deeper began to stir inside me. I was drawn to study philosophy as I began asking deeper questions like -

• What is all of this?

• Why are we even here on Earth?

• What is the purpose of life itself?

[Have you ever asked yourself these questions?]

I flashed back to a time in third grade in India when I first learned about the SOLAR SYSTEM and was blown away by what I had just learned.

It took me more than a week until I could get my bearings straight -

“You mean to tell me that we’re sitting on a round ball of dirt that’s spinning in infinite space around the sun?” I gasped at my parents. They nodded their heads and I still couldn’t believe it.

My little brain wondered -

“What the HECK is going on here and why am I caught in the middle of it all?!”

Fast forward to college years and I was about to embark on a much deeper journey in search of Truth.

One day I remember stepping out of one of my philosophy classes at SJSU wearing black business slacks that I often wore to my internship at Ernst & Young. Throngs of students were walking out with me yet the campus was quiet in this late afternoon. There was silence in the air.

I was in deep contemplation internally and if it was as if something within me nudged me to slow down and stop walking.

I saw everyone around me slowly moving and the voices gradually fading away away as I became completely still within me.

Even though there was movement all around me, my inner world had completely paused.

I felt my consciousness gazing at me, observing everything around me and also at what’s coming ahead in life.

I could foresee the trajectory of my whole life ahead of me -

1. Graduating from college,

2. Getting married,

3. Having children,

4. Buying a house,

5. Having a good career

And, then wondering to myself, is that all there is to life?

That moment came about 5 years ago as I sat on the couch in our living room right as the COVID pandemic was at its peak.

I felt I had checked all the boxes - a nice house, car, loving wife and children, loving relationships, great career, fun vacations.

And sitting at that couch I asked myself -

“Is that all there is to life?”

Something didn’t feel right. Something was missing. Something in me knew that there had to be more to life than just checking all these boxes. I knew I had to go deeper to uncover the Truth. This would form my Sunkulp #2 i.e. Heart and Mind Aligned Determination to uncover the Truth for myself.

Studying philosophy was a good start in college but eventually it felt like a lot of intellectual debate with very few answers.

Religion as I saw it practiced presented many rituals and theories with the practitioners not knowing why they did what they did. This blind faith, while perhaps beneficial for one’s mental sanity, also didn’t feel like the Truth.

While at Intuit, I rode the early morning tech shuttle buses from San Francisco to Mountain View almost every day. It was these early morning shuttle rides when I read books on philosophy, autobiographies of famous leaders such as Martin Luther King and Gandhi. I read sacred spiritual texts such as the Genesis, Bhagavad Gita and parts of the Quran. These sacred scriptures seemed to provide a window of opening into the Truth.

I was starting to gain some understanding as to the purpose of life. That we are born for our soul’s evolution and to work out unfulfilled desires so that eventually we can ascend to the image of God we are made in. All our pains and difficulties are meant for our soul’s growth. I had witnessed that in my own journey first hand.

The Earth shook underneath me, figuratively, when I read the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The sutras laid out the path towards attaining enlightenment i.e. ultimate union with God through the eightfold path of Yoga as practiced since the dawn of time by Yogi’s. It is no easy path but it beckoned me to travel the path and realize the Truth for myself.

I had found a manual for approaching the infinite but I needed a definite guide or guru to follow it.

So began another search - I went to buddhist temples, vedanta schools, church lectures and meditation paths in search of a path that would resonate. Internally I was in deep prayer almost everyday to find a TRUE path forward.

My prayers were answered. In 2014 while we were still dating, my now wife walked in and brought home the book, Autobiography of a Yogi. She simply said, “they were giving away some books and I thought you might like this since you’re into spirituality.” Little did she know how this book would transform my life as it has for countless others. Once I read it, I knew I had found my Guru.

Yogananda was the 4th in line of enlightened masters each having first hand realization of and communion with God. This is no ordinary statement. Once the Guru had completed his work on Earth, he set a time and date for his departure, told all his disciples and left his body as many realized saints do by entering mahasamadhi in meditation in 1952.

His work lives on through Self-Realization Fellowship and most recently he was honored by India’s Prime Minister, Narendra Modi in 2017 when the Government released a new postage stamp to commemorate the 100th anniversary of his work in India and Paramahansa Ji’s Mahasamadhi.

Though I had now found the path and a Guru, it wasn’t easy to commit. I was still too restless internally to begin my journey in earnest. During the next 5 years, I went to spiritual retreats, became a certified yoga teacher, started and fell off my meditation practice over and over until I would be able to fully commit to the spiritual path for good.

After many years of wandering, in 2019 I traveled to the SRF headquarters in Los Angeles where I was initiated as a disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda in the Self-Realization Fellowship. I became a Kriya Yogi and committed to the practice of daily kriya meditation to attain a personal realization of Truth.

Entering into a Guru-Disciple relationship holds a very sacred meaning. It means that you are committing as a disciple to follow the path laid out by the Guru to the best of your ability for your ultimate realization in God. Not only that, but the Guru also takes on the responsibility to guide and be responsible for your life evolution, not only in this life but as many lifetimes as it takes for you to realize that goal.

The path of self-discipline, heightened awareness and personal development that the Self-Realization path offered in mind, body and spirit has been priceless in being able to walk my path today and I’m eternally grateful.

I’ve shared with you what I’ve learned on my quest to date. My main intent is for you to awaken to the potential that this life holds.The path that I’ve chosen may or may not be your path forward. Only you can determine that.

I encourage you to make time for self-reflection and sit with some questions below.

Questions -

• What does reading this story bring up for you?

• What questions are getting stirred inside of you?

• What does your personal quest for Truth look like?

I would love to hear what comes up for you!

~ Nitin