You Won't Always Feel Like Doing What You Know Is Good for You

There are many things we know are good for us. We know that exercising regularly is good for our body. We know that eating well gives us better energy. We know that meditation can help calm our mind. We know that putting our phones away can help us become more present with the people around us. Knowing these things, however, doesn't mean we actually do them.

We often rely on motivation to get ourselves to act. When we're inspired, energized or excited about something, taking action feels relatively easy. But motivation is an emotional state, and like most emotional states, it comes and goes. If we only do the things that matter when we feel motivated to do them, we end up giving our momentary feelings a lot of power over the direction of our lives.

Willpower allows us to make a different choice.

To me, willpower is our ability to consciously direct our attention and energy toward something we've decided matters. It's what helps turn an intention into action. We may have the thought that we want to exercise, read a book, change a habit or have a difficult conversation, but at some point we still have to direct ourselves toward actually doing it. Willpower isn't simply a personality trait some people are born with. It's a capacity we can exercise and develop.

You can see this in very ordinary moments.

Perhaps you've decided to go exercise, but when the time comes you feel like staying at your desk. Maybe you've committed to working on an important project, but suddenly checking email seems much more appealing. Or perhaps you're sitting in meditation and your mind keeps wandering, and each time you have the choice to follow the thought or bring your attention back.

These moments may seem insignificant, but I think they are some of the most important moments of our lives.

Every time we consciously bring our attention back, get ourselves out the door, put the phone down or follow through on something we said we would do, we're exercising our will. Just as our physical muscles become stronger when we use them, our capacity to direct ourselves can become stronger through practice.I explore simple practices for doing exactly this, from exercises in concentration to deliberately following through on difficult tasks.

The mistake we often make is trying to change too much at once. We decide we're going to exercise five days a week, meditate every morning, eat perfectly, stop using our phones and get to bed by 10 p.m. Then life happens, we fall short, and we conclude that we lack discipline.

Knowing what matters is the beginning. Willpower helps us live it.

This is what we'll explore together in my next Freedom From Within workshop: Developing Your Willpower. We'll look at how willpower works, experience some simple practices for strengthening it, and choose one meaningful commitment to practice for the following week.

My hope isn't that you leave feeling like you need more discipline. It's that you leave realizing you already have a capacity within you that can become stronger every time you consciously use it.

- Nitin